Coach Ed Smith

The Man


The Sounds of Baseball from Coach Big Ed Smith:

He's-Out! Lets-Go! Come On! Get-Here!
Cracked-up! Out-the-Pool! That's-Crap! There-ya-go!
Umpire! Get-Here! Ahhh Ha!  

E-Mail Coach Ed Smith

Coach Smith loves baseball.

First and foremost, I would like to articulate some exceptional expressions of mine which has guided me throughout life:

1.  Gentleman, you are all outstanding in your field.  And that is just where you should be, out standing in the field.

2.  Young men, keep in mind as you build your future - don't eat yellow snow.

3.  Schizophrenics are never alone.  And we're beside ourselves.

4.  Cow tipping can be fun but, it's an udder mess.

5.  The road of life is always under construction, so make sure to merge gently.

6.  Please try the Veal and don't forget to tip the waitress.

7.  Why is Swiss cheese a Catholic tradition?  Because it's so holy.

8.  There is no pucking around in Hockey.

9.   She was only a Bootleggers daughter, but I loved her still.

10.   If you remember Woodstock then, you weren't there.

11.   Hockey players do nothing but skate through life.

Sometime, when you have a moment, step into my office and let me tell you the story about the Private.

Remember players - pay attention to the 3rd base coach but, remember, I give the signs.  This is how we won the majority of our games last season.

Furthermore,  the next time a player runs past me at first, and does not hit my outstretched fist, I will immediately report to the umpire that you missed the bag.  Second time violators will experience that outstretched fist in a completely different manner.

Most important is the acknowledgement and respect of your ranking Superior Officer.  I have made it abundantly clear who commands this platoon.  There is a reason why you must pass by me at first before you are granted permission to move on.

Yes, and one final obsession.  The first base umpire is mine.  This is not open to discussion.